Insult Generator – Dwarven Edition
Dwarfs are known for their colourful use of the common tounge, especially when it comes to insults. Sometimes these are meant in jest, with some dwarfs known to use words as a weapon to rile up and anger their opponent into making a mistake.
The Dwarven Insult Generator is for those who wish to make the opponent tear their beard in frustration, bite their hammer or win a game of “Insult your opponent”.
Warning – This product is not suitable for Elves, Halflings or Gnomes of a nervous disposition. Some of these insults should never be used against, or in front of, a dwarf, unless you like looking for your ears in the gutter.
Each insult has an opening, middle and closing part. Each of these is assigned to a d100 table. The standard layout for an insult is [opener] [middle] [closer], but you can have many variations of combinations. When used with the suggested lay outs and combinations, give a total of well over 1,000,000 possible insults. A d10 table showing a small possible sample is listed below.
|1||bloodless beardless jelly-boned shoe-chewer!|
|2||distended blunt toothed stumpy ledge lizard!|
|3||pompous tree-hugging goblin-lover!|
|4||worthless toad-licking weasel-hearted gimp!|
|5||rabid penny-licking bug-brained jaw-breaker!|
|6||loathsome stumpy rat-eaten pointy-eared butthole!|
|9||dangling dung-living elf-child!|
|10||hidebound smelly rat-eaten moth-eaten nectar sucker!|